Nov. 14 - One staple of American philosophy is that "your rights end where the other fellow's nose begins." Implicit in this cliche is the recognition that individuals will inevitably meet people whom they don't like and who don't like them but a person's just gotta shrug it off and let it go.

Easier than it sounds, no? But I think most parents find that the first life lessons their kids learn in school are that (1) not everybody is going to like them and (2) nothing they can do will really change it. That second part is the hardest, and I doubt I'm the only parent who listened to their child's lament that after he did everything they could think of, little Johnny or Jane still despised him. (Gender specific because I had boys.)

On the one hand we teach our children to avoid "peer pressure" because we know their friends can lead them into all kinds of trouble. On the other we (Americans, in particular) are castigated because we defy "peer pressure" and embark upon courses of which "the rest of the world" disapproves. This isn't only about Iraq but also include Kyoto, social programs in which people become increasinlgy dependent on the state and, perhaps most of all, on gun control (or the lack thereof.) (Snark Time: maybe they want us to be like them in order to validate their compromises. Misery loves company, they say.)

The willingness to march to the beat of one's own drummer is one that is sorely and repeatedly tested and, let's be honest: sometimes we keep faith with our inner drummer and sometimes we wimp out.

I've finally been able to review comments left on posts made during my computer's comatose state and can only shake my head at how little people seem to know of recent history.

On my post for Rosa Parks there was an attack on the U.S. due to the "separate but equal" policy which was enshrined by the Supreme Court in Plessy vs. Ferguson (1896). I presume the troll also denounces an activist judiciary as this deplorable decision took nearly 60 years to be overturned because only the SCOTUS could overturn its own rulings. (He might also be expected to applaud Harry S. Truman despite the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki because he found a work-around to that Supreme Court decision and opened the proverbial roadblock to integration, and if the trolll doesn't I will.)

Then there's the claim that Americans didn't know our presence in Iraq would be lengthy. Actually, a CNN poll right after the fall of Baghdad says differently: a majority of the respondents said we would be there 3 years, and barely in second place was those who chose 5 years. Or, for those who pay attention and connect dots, a recent DoD press release spoke to the number of troops we currently have in Bosnia after 10 years and that situation is by no means stabilized yet despite their recent elections (which only occurred after just under 10 years of occupation.)

If Iraq is a quagmire, what is Bosnia? or, indeed, Cyprus?

What do they teach in schools these days? Evidently not the definition of fascism which includes "stringent socioeconomic conrols" and the "suppression of the opposition through terror and censorship" or Canadians would be more alarmed about their own laws permitting censorship and regulating the economy. Time was that leftists understood that laws intended to suppress their freedom of speech were often disguised as "progressive." (Of course, time was that leftists opposed gun control because they recognized the implicit threat to them. I can only conclude the left has gotten dumber.)

I may at some point address the claims that President Bush misled the nation about the state of Saddam's Iraq weapons research and capability but, as only a real wacko would try to pretend that Bush wasn't relying on intelligence collected by the prior Clinton administration as well as that of other nations, I will pass for today. Those who embark upon re-writing history need to rely so much on invective that I find it hard to respond without scorn (and I'm not in a scornful mood this morning.)

The personal is not the political. Polls that suggest that Canadians "dislike" President Bush always leave me baffled. Who freaking cares if Canadians "like" or "dislike" him? It's not a popularity contest! Clinton was (and is) very likeable but his "law enforcement" policies toward terrorists proved disasterous. One of the most likeable, decent and kindly men I ever had the privelege to meet was Jimmy Carter (when he was still governor of Georgia) but he was utterly inept as the Head of State. I can like him even as I deplore his weakness at a time of national crisis (okay, I don't often attack Carter. Truth is I think he has become unstable but that doesn't make him evil but misguided in his desperate efforts to justify his policies during his brief presidency. Any why blame him alone? Didn't many of us wish that the U.S. would take a closer look at their internal policies toward dissidents before allying herself with men like Marcos of the Phillipines as well as the Shah of Iran? I can't blame Carter for being shortsighted when I myself was so in my younger years.)

Sad Conclusion: liking them on a personal basis isn't a good enough reason to vote for them. We're adults, right? We get to vote in real elections because we are adults, and have presumably developed criteria beyond those necessary for selecting the Head Cheerleader.

The only rational measure must be about the policies of a state's leaders, and Bush's approval ratings in the U.S.A. can go up and down yet he still scores higher than the current Prime Minister of Canada. (Paul Martin would do cartwheels if he could garner Bush's approval figures at their lowest.)

There's a point to all this, right? Well, yes. I'm the sort of Christian who doesn't attend church but feels a personal relationship with my deity and my savour but nevertheless the catechism of my early years has left a lasting impression as to the faith and courage of the early Christian martyrs -- and how resolutely they defied peer pressure and refused to burn meaningless incense on the altars of false gods.

My friend Dex has long been a source of strength and kindness. He recently sent me the following which speaks to the difficulty of being true to oneself (and maybe should be sub-titled I Will Not Be A Co-dependent) because, by implication, it poses the question of who needs to approve of you the most: You, or Toxic Others.

THE FRONT ROW

Life is a theater - invite your audience carefully. Not everyone is holy enough and healthy enough to have a front row seat in your life.

There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships, friendships or fellowships.

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to: Which ones lift up and which ones tear down? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you?

The more you seek God and the things of God -- the more you seek quality. The more you seek not just the hand of God but the face of God -- the more you seek things honorable -- the more you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW of your life and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

You cannot change the people around you...but you can change the people you are around! Ask God for wisdom and discernment and choose wisely the people who sit in the front row of your life. [My bolding.]

(Author Unknown)

Dex added this postscript: I am only one, but I am still one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do. Helen Keller

What is your "something that you can do?"

Posted by: Debbye at 07:58 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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